An Assumed Vacation

Well, after entreaties to both David and Stephen to write regarding Stephen's visit failed, you all are stuck with me, who was not around for most of it, and I'm kind of fuzzy on the details, since he came around 3months ago. Whoops. I'm a little behind. So here goes - their vacation as I remember hearing about it.

Stephen is the first of David's siblings to come visit, and we were very excited to have him. I don't get much vacation, so I worked during the week, turning the boys loose on the island. Sitting in the office, I had way too much time on my hands to obsess about the weather. At the start of his trip, it was both raining and very voggy, so I was a bit upset with nature. In a (well-meaning) attempt to find the boys some sunlight, I actually made a chart showing when it would be sunny where on the island. A dormant OCD trait had reared its ugly head. I have vague recollections of badgering David about it, and at the same time, my normal, rational side was viewing the whole thing from afar, wondering what the heck I was doing.

Luckily, the Dyer boys are immune to any kind of badgering, so they shrugged it off and had fun their own way. They did things - now a year later, I'm having issues remembering what. They went water skiing on the North Shore, hiked out to Kaena Point, went spearfishing, kayaked out to the islands, and did other stuff I'm sure I can't remember. We were so excited to have him.

Corene

These are just a collection of pictures from our last weekend of moving in San Antonio - I had lost them with the camera. Corene had kept our dog for us for 3 months in the interm of us moving. Lily misses Corene and Gigi (Corene's dog).

Look at this picture of trailer-backing perfection. I rock.

David's favorite Mexican place in SA - I'm sure we'll make a beeline for it when we visit. Mexican food really is terrible out here.

Sand Castle

David and I decided to broaden our beach horizons, and try out a new place this weekend. It was supposed to have good snorkeling, so we were excited -



Until we got there and realized the surf would probably bash out heads in, or at the very least, drag us out to sea to drown. Either way = dead, which was not in the game plan.



So, we decided to engage in some juvenile behavior and build a sand castle. I still find that it is great fun, and David is a sweetie for playing with me.

David Builds Turrets

Naturally, David decideded to build a big, manly wall. For protection, of course.

I swear, this looked much more impressive in person.

I know this is a messed-up picture, but David is so cute, I can't resist.

David's wall actually came in handy. Look at that thing withstanding the ocean's might!

David's Birthday

Stalls of Death

Coming up with birthday ideas are much more challenging now that we hang on beautiful beaches every weekend just to pass the time. Hm.

When in doubt, go for manly. And what can be more manly than guns?

The Birthday Boy and adoring fans

Paul (whose idea this actually was, bless him), Court, David and I headed up to Kualoa Ranch, which is a tourist mecca, and is a filming site for lots of movies/TV shows, and signed up for some shooting range action. Geared up and ready to go, we pitted our skillz against each other - and not surprisingly, Paul kicked our asses. At least he is nice about it.

Forever Alone

I wish you could see that Courtney's tongue was sticking out in concentration.

Have bullets, will fire

Rockin the earmuffs!

We had fun, even though it is kind of awkward holding guns that are chained to the wall when you have monkey arms that are longer than the chain allows for. That's my excuse, anyway. You can see our results below.

I did pretty good! I'd like to thank my Father and Romayor, TX for all their devotion in gun-related issues.

After some fun Frisbee-tossing at a park nearby, we headed off to Birthday Surprise #2.

Which, of course, was sweets. There is this old-timey ice cream parlor that has the most ridiculous ice cream creations you have ever seen, including a sundae that is a mountain of ice cream - it includes around 2 gallons of ice cream, along with several pounds of toppings. It takes two people, who actually carry it out on a LITTER. And Ice-Cream Litter. I had to see this.

We opted for a much smaller sundae, but there wa still much amusement, as there was embarrassing restaurant singing, as well as a video of David taking 8 hours to blow out his candles, since he thought we were taking a picture instead. It was funny. Maybe you had to be there.

Back at home we ate cake (of course I made him one) and hung out. It was a nice, chill day out.

Found!

I don't think I posted about it, but during my mom's visit in Feb. I lost my camera. It was a sad, depressing time. Naturally, it was our newer camera, instead of our really old one. Our old camera is makes me think of those ginormous cell phones they had on 'Saved by the Bell' - it would fit right in, technology-wise. I looked everywhere, even driving to the other side of the island, just in case no one picked it up...



Of course, it had my license, credit cards, and cash in it. Canceling/getting new cards was a joy.



Subsequently, you might have noticed blog posts kind of trailed off around then - I'm not funny unless there are visuals, so no posting. We did fun things during the past 4 months, but I can't remember what they are anymore, as we have no record and my memory is about as good as a 90 year-old.



HOWEVER, one afternoon I was unfolding our beach chair to settle in and watch the boys at the driving range when LOW AND BEHOLD my lost camera fell out of a pocket!!! There was much rejoicing.

My Jump for Joy

The Boys Golfing

Ok, so in all honesty, not that exciting - unless you are me. But I felt the need to document it.

Placebo Parenthood

Lately, I have been thinking to myself that I needed to post some pictures of Lily, bc it has been a long time, and her cuteness should be shared with the world.


This was NOT what I had in mind.


There is a HOLE in my dog. She has been ventilated. Punctured. Perforated.


Among other things. Lately, our dog has been keeping us on our toes, trying to figure out what her next emergency is going to be. I find myself going to work tired, complaining because my dog was sick, and she kept me up all night.

I swear, one night she woke us up, scared, because of a nightmare.


I'm sure all you real parents are laughing at my extreme naivete, but right now I'm going to bask in my ignorance and pretend like real parenthood isn't a zillion times harder than this. So we're spending our time thumbing through medical books, debating on whether to call the vet, or self-treat. Wondering if another emergency room visit is in our future. That sort of thing. What I have figured out is that I'm one lousy parent once I'm asleep. Every time there is a 'Lily issue' it always manifests in the middle of the night, and it is always David who wakes up to her distress. If David wasn't around…… poor Lily. He wakes me up, of course, once he's figured out something is wrong. Then it's Vet-Tech Tiffy! Complete with medical reference!


So here is the fun we've been having the last month: A 2 am wake up, in which we discover our dog has become a dog-toad hybrid. She apparently broke out in hives from contact with something (?!) Who knows. David thinks it was something on the beach, and I vouch for the sno-cone syrup-covered asphalt in front of Matsumotos. The world may never know.

Unhappy/Drugged Lily

I couldn't decide which one showed up the best.

Not a square inch of her body escaped the hives

Then, she got ventilated by my sister's friend's dog. Apparently the dog was snappy? Would have been a good thing to know beforehand… The lady whose dog bit mine did feel really bad, even though they (my sister and she) DIDN'T NOTICE that my dog was bleeding everywhere and locked her in a room until we randomly came over. It's kind of our fault, bc we should have stayed over there longer to watch her. She's ok though, so no biggie. But It still kind of freaks me out that I can watch my dog's muscles work from a unique angle. I spent most of my weekend running around the house, repeatedly scaring the crap out of my dog by yelling and trying to get her to lay on her uninjured side. Apparently she enjoys leaving blood and such all over my apartment. You would think scratchy carpet fibers would not feel good inside your body.

I wish I had taken a pic right after it happened, instead of waiting a week. It used to look a lot more impressive.

Here's what woke me up at 2 am one morning that scared the hell out of me:

Mainly I was a wreck because Lily was obviously freaking out - nervous, skittish and very cuddly (she does that when she's in pain). For the life of me, I could not figure out what was wrong with her. She seemed fine…. after several horrifying minutes while my brain invented things that might be wrong (did I accidentally get hydrogen peroxide INSIDE her body cavity!?) I decided she had a nightmare.


Anyway, the fun continues. I don't know why my dog can't keep out of trouble. Heaven help me when I have actual kids who get hurt, are pitiful, AND can complain in English. (Ow!! Quit pouring that burning stuff on me!!) My kids are in for a rough time. The dog has shown me that hydrogen peroxide cures all. I'm like the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but with H2O2 instead of Windex.


My poor dog. She is taking after her mom in the scar department. At least David manages to keep himself in one piece.

Gravity Pulls Especially Hard on Me

It has been too long since my last activity-related accident, so I decided to do this one up big.

The setup is basically this: Gas prices are ridiculous, and we live pretty close to the harbor where our ferry takes off, as you can see from the map below. The red line is if we drive, and the yellow is if we bike. Obviously, biking just makes more sense. I need the exercise anyway.



However, I also need to be able to walk, and apparently the two are at odds.

We woke up a little late on this particular day, and were rushing to make it in time. We ran out the door at 6:15 (we normally have to leave at 6:10 to make it) and went downstairs to get our bikes. I am a slower biker than David, so I thought I'd start out ahead of him, and he could catch up.

So I did, and.. no David



Still no David….

Finally, at the point where we go off property to off-road it, I stopped to wait for him. What the hell was taking so long!?

That was when I saw our car drive past with David in it.

Mother Bitches.

So I'm on my own, and my effort is not even going to save me any gas $ today. So I'm kind of pissed. I start biking, while thinking to myself, he probably has a very good reason to drive. He is probably trying to make it to the boat to tell them to wait for you, and it is your fault anyway for not telling him you were going to go on ahead.

Unfortunately, I'm a girl, so logic does not always actually influence my mind.

So I'm still kind of mad as I go around a turn - and with my newfound rage powering my tiny muscles, inertia and gravity kind of ganged up on me.

I'm going down, and it is going to be ugly. Time to bail. But wait! My foot is encircled with one of those pedal cages to make my bike experience 'more efficient'. So about 1/10 of a millisecond into the fall, I feel the top of my food hit the cage, and I know I'm screwed. My brain gets halfway through a curse word before I actually hit the ground.

It's bad. I'm in pain, all alone, and still far-off and late for the boat. I had a quick moment of extreme self-pity, (cue silent tears) and then got back on the bike and pushed myself to make it on time. Heck, I even beat David who was in the car.

Which means that by the time he finally showed up, the shock had worn off and he was there for the beginning of the hysterics.

It was not a fun boat ride. I was bleeding from my hands, foot, and hip, and I'm not a Big Girl. I'm a Weenie. So all the other patrons had to listen to me moan as we tried to clean out the wound, which was huge, hurt, and was coated in dirt.

It ended up being ridiculously painful. Every time my heart beat for a week and a half, my leg would throb. Standing up was horrible - I could feel all the blood rushing to my damaged nerve endings, searing them with pain. It was just a scrape, so what was up with feeling the need to amputate my leg?! Maybe because the area was so large, there were tons of nerve endings? I shaved off a big piece of leg - the fall was deep enough that it scraped off the layer of skin that my hair grows out of - it is a weirdly bald patch on my leg. Gack. For some reason, that thought grosses me out. Probably bc it happened to me.

Anyway, so I'm crippled again. Some hilarity has ensued, including me running over people in Costco with one of those handicapped electric carts, walking around like a cheesy zombie extra, and a drug overdose (David had some leftover pain pills from his surgery) during Paul's birthday dinner that really whacked me out.

It's been three weeks, and I still look like a burn victim. There goes my modeling career. (Hello Twinkes!) I originally was not going to post a picture, as the wound is kind of high up my leg. However, David insisted, so here it is, as edited as possible to protect your virgin eyes. Although, it doesn't look as bad as it did in person. I feel the need to mention that Paul, who has seen dead bodies, was grossed out. Note the crazy swelling line on my lower leg.

This place is going to turn me into Quasimodo. I was apparently built for indoor-use only.

Oh, and David did have a good reason for leaving me - his bike had a flat.

I hope you enjoyed my re-creation of the accident in Photoshop. I know it looked top-notch.

(Still think I should be a graphic designer, Mom!?)