'You Must be 40% Mountian Goat to Hike This Trail'

We recently got a hiking book, (finally) which I have scoured through and marked all sorts of trails I wanted to go on from the safety of my seat in the food court. On the weekends, when faced with actually hiking these things, I have to take a minute and reconsider. All the hikes I really want to go on have these small sections in the description where they will use words like 'slippery', 'extremely steep', and 'eroding'. These cause some hesitation, because - it's me. If possible, I WILL fall off that mountain, and I do not want to be a paraplegic.

I keep putting them aside for when 'I've been working out consistently for a while.'

BWAHA HA HA! This means we will never go on them.

At the top of the ridge

On this particular day, David and I were feeling lazy, so when I came across a hike that was only 3 miles and 700 ft gain in elevation, I was so in.

Foolish girl.

Gently rolling at this point

Turns out that most of the hike is a nice, gently rolling stroll.

Then 1/4 of a mile is heart attack inducing.

Hi! Lily was having a good time.

After we got back, I looked the trail up on the computer, and it is referred to as 'cardiac hill'. You start at the top of a ridge and go straight down the side of the mountain to the valley below, which as the waterfall ,which was the whole reason to do the hike in the first place. Isn't a waterfall supposed to be all zen and relaxing? Haven't these people heard of switchbacks?! There were rope secured in some places in an attempt to reduce the instances of death on the trail.

Rope insanity

STEEP. Wimpy leg muscles rebelling.


Going downhill is supposed to be the easy part. My defective knees felt differently.

I was just appreciating how much it was going to suck climbing back up when this guy came into view, puffing up the trail with a child on his back. And not a small kid either, I'm talking like around 4 years old. Holy Crap. I kept an eye out for him on the way back, just in case he passed out behind a bush or something.

The valley! I was so ready for a dip in that pool.

The lower falls


Once I got this far in, I was less sure about that dip I had been dreaming about. In the time it took to take this picture, my legs went numb.

It took some serious mental hype to actually jump in.

Dang, I'm not going to be mistaken for a local anytime soon.

Insert Hawaiian luau music here

What am I doing? Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto! Also, I kind of look like those Sobe

lizards dancing 'Thriller' on that commercial I hate so much.


Once there, we just kind of hung out and relaxed, played in the water, debated whether the rope swing would kill us if we tried it, had some snacks, and did some sunning. We were practically alone most of the time. Of course, I used this time to do nothing, and only broke out the camera right when we ere leaving and a Hawaiian Horde descended upon us. Oh well.

This dog and I were having a moment. I like taking overexposed photos, apparently. I tried to get Lily up there to recreate the moment, but she was having none of it.



Lion King! It's the Circle of Life, Bitches.





David jumping from way too high. Hello life support



He apparently was thinking the same thing, because we had to wait a while. Here we are, waiting for the jump. Lily is attempting to sit in my lap on a rock, bc she is freaking cold. And miserable, as you can see.

Trying to get a shot of all three pools - failing miserably.

Top Waterfall

Flows down into this middle pool

And then ends in the pool we jumped into.

Going back - LAME. Look at all the ankle-twisting opportunities!

Adventure Dog

What trail?

I kept trying to take pictures to show the steepness of our hike, but to no avail. Someone invent a 3D camera, already. I started checking on how the picture is going to actually look by closing one eye and looking through the viewfinder. Less than impressive. Also, as you can imagine, lack of depth perception caused a little bit of stumbling and almost falling over. I never learn. Other hikers probably thought I was drunk at 11 am. Classy.

Even Lily looks exhausted

Hiking out - excited. Insert usual incline whining/sarcastic remarks here.

Treacherous Roots. We call this a Tifftastrophe Waiting to Happen.

Top. Tired.

Pretending we take a jaunt like this everyday before breakfast!

Reality.

I loved this tree. Even exhausted and starving, it was worth stopping for. It looked like God had reached down and twisted it like a candy cane. I tired to get a cool picture of the bark with only partial success.

I had taken 5 pictures when David said, "You can stay out here alone and gnaw on your new best friend for sustenance, because I'm starving and going home."

Walk along the ridge back to the car. It was really beautiful with the mountain range in

the background, but you can't even see it in the picture. Phooey.

All in all, it was a lovely hike, at least in my memory. While hiking the trail, I was probably not so generous. But the cascading waterfalls at the end were definitely worth it.