Koa - The Puppy Cometh

Meet Koa! Trouble on four paws.

We named him Koa, after a type of wood found in Hawaii. The color is about the same as his fur, and we just think it sounds cool, in all honesty. Bringing a little Hawaii home with us.

I've finally got around to posting Koa's puppy pictures - we got him when he was 8 weeks old, and our toes have not been safe since. One of his favorite pastimes is to hide under furniture and attack your toes when you sit down. He also enjoys pretending to be asleep and then launching an attack on your digits.

Thank goodness he is almost too big to fit under things now.

In any case, he is an equal joy and pain in the butt, as all puppies are. Since I was home all the time when we first got him, his care fell to me, much like David took care of Lily back in the day.

I'm so thankful my turn comes with non-carpet flooring.

At the breeder's

The hilarity started almost immediately. To find a Ridgeback we could afford, I had to drive a ways - out to Witchita Falls. After picking him up, I drove straight to David's office to pick him up, since we were still a one car family at this point. David had told some co-workers about the puppy and they were dying to see him, so he took him into the office. I stayed in the parking garage, because cutoffs and flip-flops are not exactly business casual.

I didn't have to wait too long, because David came right back... covered in puke. I tried really hard not to laugh, honest. I wanted to take a picture, but I don't think David was in the state of mind to see the humor quite yet.

Apparently, during the 3 hour car ride the puppy got motion sickness, and when David took him to his brand-new office (they just moved to Victory Park) The puppy had enough and threw up all over David and the floor by someone's desk. We beat a hasty retreat.

Ridge

WARNING: I am about to make several hugely generalized statements based on my extensive lack of knowledge and experience regarding babies. Don't be alarmed.

It's like having a toddler dropped into my house, without all that insulating time where they are a cute, cuddly infant and stay right where you leave them. Apparently this helps you build up an immunity to wanting to choke them when they start crawling around and destroying your things in a few years. I split my time between suppressing the urge to pull out my hair and randomly leaping across rooms, making intelligible gargling sounds and I try to snatch Koa away from whatever current activity he's happily engaged in that is about to end his little life. Once he was asleep and I looked away for just a few minutes, and when I looked up.... he was across the room, licking the electrical sockets.

In the yard by our place

And I swear, everything goes into his mouth. I don't care what it is, if anything is within a foot of his face, he is going to lunge and try to eat it.

Also, if he would just let me sleep, I'd appreciate it.

So, this whole experience has made me question the idea of procreation. The puking was just the beginning. As time wears on, our alarm at seeing various body functions has decreased to a mild annoyance and prodigious use of paper towels.

The worst part was at night. At first, that dog kept me up all hours. Every 1 1/2 - 2 hrs the little guy would wake up and start crying to go outside. We were desperately trying to crate-train him, however he insisted upon screaming (I feel like this term is appropriate - you weren't there) for hours at a time if he ever woke up in the cage. We couldn't just wait it out, because we are in an apartment and our neighbors might kill us, or get us evicted.

Awww, sleepy. Thank GOD for naps. WHY WON'T YOU SLEEP LIKE THIS AT NIGHT!?

Solution? Probably not the Dog Whisperer's seal of approval, but basically when he woke up and started crying for longer than 5 minutes, I would get up, let him outside, and put him back to bed, then crawl into bed myself.

Ha ha! As if. After going outside he would be Awake, and thus, it was playtime. I would end up lying on the hard ground so he could cuddle with me and would fall asleep. After he was deeply asleep, I would carefully pick him up and move him into his cage. I treated this operation with the same amount of consideration I give to solving world hunger. Nothing could be more important than success and possible sleep. Sadly, I was usually so exhausted I'd fall asleep on the floor next to him, and hardwoods aren't exactly comfy. For a few weeks I looked like David beat me with my random assortment of bruises.

I don't know why he sleeps like this. He looks like a tiny rug.

As I lay on the floor, counting the days until this hellacious cycle would end, I realized that with kids, the process is around 10 times longer. Sweet Lord, I don't know if I would make it. Not sleeping for a year sounds terrible. And at 4 am on the floor, it sounds insurmountable.

During the day, I lived for when he napped. It was the only time I could actually get anything done. We moved into our new place on a Saturday, and picked him up the next Tuesday. Needless to say, the house was a wreck, and I should have been unpacking. On the other hand, it was the only time I could actually sleep, so sometimes I joined him in the nap.

Note the perfectly good dog bed on the right, unused.

I know it's different when it's your own child, and when you hold him for the first time your life changes, etc etc, but I've not experienced that. Dogs are as close as I've gotten, and thus they equate to the same thing to me. Maybe I would be less stressed if I could get Koa to wear diapers, but still.

I'll have kids as soon as it becomes acceptable to lock them in a cage and take off for a few hours.

Only treats will get Lily to be this close in approximation to Koa

So, we brought him home, a playmate for Lily. Most of you have met Lily - The Sweetest Dog on the Planet. She loves everyone and everything unreservedly.

Except this puppy.

Lily HATES the puppy. We tried to smother her with extra attention, but it just wasn't doing it. She had a personal bubble of about 5 feet, and every time that puppy got close, she was outta there, or trying to eat his face. Also, anything he touched was instantly unacceptable for her. Toys, beds, it didn't matter. If the puppy had touched it, it no longer existed to her.

Koa, however, LOVES Lily. He wanted to be next to or on top of her at all times. He was a snuggler, which is crazy to us, because Lily didn't want us anywhere near her until she was about 2 years old. She would just get up and relocate if you sat too close to her.

Anyway, Koa wanted some snuggle time, and Lily wanted him in the next zipcode. So, basically he would wait until Lily fell asleep, and then he'd start Operation Wiggle. He's slowly scooch himself closer.. and closer.... until he was finally touching her somehow. This usually took around 15 minutes, as he learned the hard way that Lily's pretty attentive, even when asleep.

This time he fell asleep before making it over to Lily

It's been almost a month, and things are edging back to normal. Lily is starting to warm up, and she even lets him sleep next to her sometimes. However, our once-quiet dog now sounds like a lawn mower. Most of the time Koa is harassing her she keeps up this sustained growl until he stops. it sounds like she is about to eat his face, and probably disturbs people who come to visit us.

"Ha ha!" we say, " They're just playing! You can climb down off the couch."

The sleep thing got decided a few weeks into my lack of sleep when I said a bad word at 2 am and just climbed back in bed and left him to his own devices. In my defense, we had had a seriously bad day (that's a whole other post) and I was just done. Turns out he crawls into his bed and sleeps until 6 am, and he's never had an accident.

Well, at least not at night.

Innocent face. Ha! I know better.

It's still bad training, but I don't care. If you want to come to my house and train my dog, be my guest. Paul, dog trainer extraordinaire, is probably shaking his head in shame right now.

Actually, Paul and Court sent me a great training book on dogs, which I am following, other than the crate thing. It's called , and you should look into it if you are considering getting a puppy.

And now, photo montage. I'm sure most of you just scanned this post for the pictures, anyway.

Corene is awesome. You didn't think I took this, did you? You can tell which ones are hers.


Proof that all males bond through video games. I like Lily, who is looking at them like they are crazy. Women's response across the globe.

Oops. Don't tell David I let them on the bed.

Playtime

David workin' the lady glasses.

My Boys

So that's him. You know I'm going to swamp this blog with pictures in the future, so you're forewarned. He is getting his last rounds of shots in a month, and after that the socialization will begin! If any of you have some nice doggies and want a puppy play date, let me know!