What Not to Do

What screams fun and holiday insanity more than camping out in front of a store to bask in the materialistic glory of possibly getting a good deal?! I think I might have pulled something as I shoved that little old lady out of my way as we rushed inside.

Even though it wasn’t readily noticeable from the start (“You want me to do what?!”), I was mildly intrigued about the whole camp-outside-a-store thing. It’s the American Way, after all. Would it be like: A) a big party? B) Quiet competition? C) Bored out of my mind? If you guessed C, come on down! You’re the next contestant on Things to Avoid.


It might have been a lot more fun if the people we had camped around were more interesting; or if I was more interesting. But it was mainly families just sleeping, somehow, on the concrete. Not exactly a party. So we played some cards, read a little, and attempted the Torture by Concrete Sleeping Competition with everyone else. We might have won. David wasn’t planning on sleeping, so we just brought one sleeping bag.

*Our little corner*

Try to picture David and I attempting to share one bag, causing us to contort into several extremely uncomfortable positions. He finally gave up, and magnanimously left me to attempt to sleep the rest of the night. So I did, punctuated by random car alarms, blaring Hawaiian ghetto music, and yes, an actual screaming baby (around 6 months) that someone decided to camp out with 6 people in front of us. Each time I woke up I thought, ‘this had better be worth it’, so….
by 5 am when the store finally opens you are so HYPED and absolutely sure that every single person in front of you in line wants YOUR ITEM that you turn into some kind of crazed consumer with an every-man-for-himself kind of mentality. Anything goes. Because you have EARNED that item, as your bruised side will attest, through your discomfort, time, and not to mention you have already picked out its place in your house and thought about how good it will look there. Of course your pain and want eclipses everyone else’s. DUH! Get in the holiday mood, buddy. And while you're there, why don't you snatch the last iPod from that now wailing child. Ho Ho Ho.

Oh, and NO, by some stupid Circuit City Privileged Information Act, we did not know the loophole needed to actually get our TV, so we left empty-handed. Did I mention the hard concrete?!