That Would Suck

Kids, this is funny.

She just looks so PISSED.

In Which I Finally Get Off My Rear

Enough lazing around. On this day, Em and I went on the hike/kayak day. I think this is one of those things I will do with everyone who comes to visit.

Amazingly, even though I have done this - what, 2, 3 times? I got lost. Really. One of those stream crossings threw me off, and I continued on a different trail for probably 5 minutes or so before I realized that this was not familiar. Em was patient, and eventually I found the right one. In the end, it turned out taht both trails ended in the falls, but still. Sad.



We made it! Em must have been kissed on the head by the Vacation Gods or something, because there was NO ONE there. Which is amazing. Every other time I have been here it has been crawling with people. Like so crowded you can't find a rock to sit on. It was insane. And beautiful. I was so glad she got to experience it this way.

Um, of course we jumped off. There are several places that are ok to jump, but I opted for the one I was certain would not land us in the hospital. Probably. Someone else showed up, and he jumped from the ledge in the top right corner of the picture.

Brr! Refreshing.

Tarzan Em

On to the kayaking! The kayak place gives you this handy map that isn't freaky at all:

After talking at your for like 10 minutes about how it's dangerous, only go this way, blah blah blah, I'm almost asleep. I've done this around 5 times now, and I'm a veteran, ok?!

Besides, I know how tired I get and there is no way in hell I'm going to go their approved route. it adds on like 20 extra minutes of paddling, and I wouldn't make it. So! Naturally, I plan on taking us the shortest route possible, which is right over the reef. Emily, as a smart person, was not on board with this idea in the beginning.

But I knew halfway out there I would win her over.

That, and I was in the back and steering, so there really wasn't much choice.

We made it out, no problems, and promptly collapsed on the beach to take in the sights and rest our tired arms. I actually asked if she wanted to hike to the back, and she was not interested. That was cool with me, so we just chilled out.

Hello Mr. Turtle!

After this, there was, of course, some Pinky's action, but I was too busy drinking my Shakerita to take any pictures.

Day 4 - Tiffany Goes to Work. Meh.

But, thank goodness, Courtney had nothing to do, so she and Em went out, back to the North Shore. Good choice. Em and Court actually hit it off, so that was nice. I think they had a good day together. Naturally, Em had more Shrimp Shack - they are only on the North Shore, basically.

As I was biking home from The Boat, Court and Em passed me going the other way - so we dropped my bike off, and I joined them. Em loved sunsets - we tried to catch one almost every night. Today, they filled their coconuts with Baileys and headed to the coves. Brilliant.

Sunset, sea, rainbows, and coconuts? It was a very Hawaiian moment.

Day 5

So, I finally decided to be a good American, and finally go to Pearl Harbor. I don't really remember what happened with this day, but we didn't get out of the house until 2. Emily? Maybe you remember - you'll have to fill me in.

The Memorial

Isn't it crazy how it is all overcast and grey looking, and them 10 minutes later it looks like this?

Afterwards, we went to the Waikiki strip for some dinner, and of course, some sunset action.

Satiated, we walked the strip, just seeing the sights, and headed over to the International Marketplace for some souvenir hunting.

There are street performers everywhere on the strip. It reminds me of Europe - there is always someone painted either all silver or all gold standing like a statue. I always wonder what kind of cash they bring in to make that worth it, but apparently it is enough for them.

There are also different kinds of artists, so when we passed some guy doing henna tattoos, I thought, why not!?

Em got a pretty hibiscus

I basically told the guy to do whatever he wanted, as long as there were no hearts involved. At this point, I have no idea what is on my back.

Here we all are - Court has a Gecko. What did we name him? Bob?

Day 6 - More lazing!

Man, as I am writing this, I realize how much time we spent on the beach. A Lot. Which probably explains why Emily and I got so dark. We were so tan, I was actually worried. I'm never worried, I always consider myself pale, which should let you know how bad it was. But I had a 2 weeks head start on Em - and she caught up with me! I have never seen anyone tan so fast. It was amazing. She looked like a local.

Which is why our henna tattoos didn't show up as well as they could. They kind of blended in with the rest of our skin! Crazy. And a little disappointing.

Anyway, so we spent today over in Kailua, specifically on Laniaki. I love this beach. It is beautiful, and the sand is so fine it's like velvet. Court came with us, and we just hung out, napped, and read on the shore.

Lanikai sand is perfect for sandcastles, so.....

Luckily, Courtney is as big a kid as I am, so she helped me build it.

At one point during this, we started to get a bit toasted, so instead of getting up, Courtney began to coat herself in sand. Really. It was like a sand suit. It was so insnae, I had to do it too. Thank goodness there are no pictures to record that particular event.

More Snocones!

After that, we headed back over to Waikiki for Sunset on the Beach, which is basically a giant movie shown on the beach after the sun goes down. I had never done this before, and I am so glad I had the opportunity, because apparently it has lost its funding, and they won't be doing it anymore! Sad.

Actually, this was almost a disaster, because we were planning on going the day previously, but a last-minute check showed that instead of 'Pirates of the Carribean' they were going to play 'Lords of Appletown', which I had never heard of, and was probably lame.

So instead, we went this night, and saw Horton Hears a Who! Which I thought was great. Those of you who have seen it, my favorite part was Katie, this odd little creature that served no real puropse, but wierded everyone out. I thought it was hilarious.

And so, we had a nice time watching the movie under the stars. In a funny side note, it was Court's birthday, and so she managed to win a pair of pineapples. She didn't really know what was going on, but Em and I were screaming at her to go onstage, so she did. Ha. and Yum.

Here Court is relaxing in her expertly-dug sand lounge chair. Nice.

Enjoying local food from the fair! YUM, shrimp rolls.

Yay Movie Time!

The world's best donuts. Words cannot describe them.

Day 7 -Haunuma Bay

Is this all we did this day? It is sad, my mind is failing at the tender age of 27.

Snorekling at the nature preserve! Another Must-do.

Whew, that's a long walk.

Em and I - Snorkel Faces!

Day 8 -

Today we went to the beach and hung out with the dogs. Em made a couple calls to folks back home, and I hung out with some little kids, burying the dogs.

Note Lily's pained expression - see her booties? She hates those. But they keep her feet in one piece, so... too bad, doggie.

The dogs dug an impressive hole, and general area of destruction.

And then Em too was gone. Back to Dallas. If I could just transplant all of you guys out here, life would be perfect. I can't wait to see her again.

Saying bye to our place

Hi Emily!

YAY Great Dallas Friend #2!

A week or two after Jennifer left, Emily came out to visit me! I was so blessed this month with their presence.





Emily and I had a much less disaster-prone time together, which was probably due in part to t he fact that I was too tired from Jen's trip to plan like a crazy person. More relaxing for everyone involved.








When Em got in, she and I snuck over to a cove to catch a few rays of sun while we could. Then, we grabbed a quick bite at the outdoor cafe, and enjoyed the sunset.

The first day, we decided to jump right in and go hiking on the Nuuanu Pali trail. I was a bit skeptcal, becuase this specific trail had trashed my knees in the past, but I know Em loves hiking, so we had to do it. Actually, this is the trail that Jen and her friend got lost trying to find. Apparently I suck at giving directions.

Excited doggies in the car

Yea! I found the trailhead.




We basically just hiked and tried to catch up with each other. 10 months is a long time. Here's a view of Honolulu





Crazy vines! I'm sure most of you who know me well are laughing right now, becuase you know I barely made it through upright.

Hiking action shot.

The first of the strawberry guavas were coming into season, so we kept our eyes peeled from them while we were on the trail

Hi Em!

You don't have hikes like this back in TX.

Em likes Banyan trees just as much as I do. This one is a monster.

For some reason, this shot makes me think of the Lion King.

Here, Em points out that she is surrounded by cliffs on either side.

We were planning on swimming in the Ginger Pool once we were finished, but after 5 miles or so of hiking, we were tired. And that pool couldn't have melted before yesterday. Brrrr. The dogs liked it, though.

Day 2 - Chill

For our second day, we decided to rest from the first. Armed with snacks, margaritas, and books, we headed out for an adventure up the windward side of the island. I have been this way only once before, so I was excited about seeing something new.

Lo and behold, when we stopped for some gas, I smelled ambroisa.

Ok, it was BBQ, but it was REAL SMELLING BBQ. All BBQ out here is Korean BBQ, which is nothing like BBQ and involves rice and soup. What?! Crazy Koreans.

Anyway, I was so exicted I made Emily eat there for lunch. BBQ! It wasn't the best ever, but it was still pretty good. Heaven. We took our treasure to the beach, where I soon devoured it.

YUM. Now if I could just find a decent Mexican place....

La'ie - the beach

Ok, so La'ie was a little rough today, and we got knocked around a bit playing in the ocean. We managed to retain our swimsuits, so it was still fun.

After a relaxing day of nothing, we headed back to pick up my sister from downtown - she had just dropped her car off to ship it back to the mainland.

While we were there, we did the Tantalus Drive - basically a road that winds around a beautiful area - hence the zillions of mansions up there. It has some good views as well:

Um, Courtney and I ninjias? I'm not exactly sure what is going on here.

After that, we grabbed some dinner at a place I knew by the docks that had great fish. I think this was the official start of the Em Tries to Eat Her Weight In Seafood marathon. It was amazing. I think she never had anything else but fish (except at breakfast) after this.

Day 3 - North Shore!

I jove the North Shore. Hello Dole Plantation! And dorky pictures. Awesome.

Em gets her bearings

Mahalo! Em picked up the lingo quick. I wonder if she still said 'mahalo' for a while after she got back.

Say hello to Em's favorite part of the islands. Shrimp shacks. I think she managed to eat here 3 times? That may be as much as I have eaten there the whole time I've lived here. It was my first time for Macky's though - they had been parked somewhere else for a while, and I hadn't seen them.

This is Waimea Bay, and was Em's favorite beach on the island. I must say that I agree. In the summer it is great. Beautiful and pristine, it can get a little crowded. The more adventurous can jump off the large rock, or try snorkeling nearby. Em and I opted to lay around and do nothing. This became a theme of the trip.

Yay Em! I miss you, girl.

Of course we got snocones

On the way home, we decided to stop for some sushi - although we wanted to stay out of the pricey places, so.....

Genki Sushi! Basically, Conveyor Belt Sushi. It is an Experience. Everyone should try it, just for fun. You sit at the bar and watch the parade of fish - you can tell how much something is by what color plate it is on. Just grab and eat!

I'm not sure if you can zoom in on this thing, but this machine fascinated me. It basically spit out litle rice bricks so they could make sushi fast. Ha! Crazy. I am easily amused.

We fell into a pattern in the morning - I usually slept in until 8 - 8:30, and Em was alomst always up at like 6. So, she would take her Bible and the bike and head on down to the coves in the morning to relax and be with herself. Eventually I would get up, try to get ready for the day, and give her a call and we would be off. It worked out pretty well - I'm glad she found something to do in the mornings. It was one of the times I was glad we live on a resort.

Adventures with Jen....Poor, Traumatized Jen

Ok, I lied. I think I had two days where nothing bad happened, because one of them is below. Thank goodness Jen had a few days of unstressful vacation.

This was actually my first day on the island with her, I believe. So we decided to ease into the outdoors with simple hiking and snorkeling. Well, as it turned out, not so much with the snorkeling.



But the hiking was good. It is the Makapu'u Trail, which is much more populated during the winter months, when you can see lots of whales. But, it also has a good view at the top. So, we spent some time together, just walking the trail.

Right around here somewhere, we left the trail in search of the Dragon's Nostrils, which are a couple of blowholes that are fun to watch. I think we even had a guide book to help us look, and no dice. We ended up kind of sliding down a steep slope looking for it, which is when we called it quits in favor of living to see another day.

At the top

After that, we headed out to Hanuma Bay to see some fishies. It is basically a big crater that has become a nature preserve, so the fish can get HUGE. Plus, you don't have to play Sherlock Homes constantly, because they are all very acclimated to humans.

Hello giant fishy! This a parrot fish, fairly close-up, because the tide was so low we were practically IN THE REEF at all times. It was nuts. There was like 5 inches clearance, and if you didn't catch the swells just right, you were going to go scraping across the reef. I spent a lot of time sucking in, because it we were so close, this actually made a difference.

This has always freaked the heck out of me, because I have a thing about eels. Such as I hate them. I always visualize one of them snaking out of the reef and biting my finger off. Therefore, I am always fighting with myself, trying not to race off and leave my visitor when I have a panic attack. Because here comes a swell and ON NO I'M GOING TO CRASH RIGHT INTO THAT REEF WHERE AN EEL WILL PLUCK MY EYEBALLS OUT AND CHEW OFF MY FINGERS, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY RUN AWAY.

Which is what I am thinking while I try to calmly point out that it is no problem, this is normal, oh look, a turtle!

On a side note, I am also thinking STUPID TOURISTS GET OFF THE REEF YOU'RE KILLING IT I HOPE AN EEL CHEWS YOUR TOES OFF.

Jen and I, Survivors of the Reef. We look like big dorks with those mask rings, but whatevs! We braved the Open Ocean.

Jen rode The Boat home with me from work one day while her friend was here the previous week. I have no idea why this is here, but again, to lazy to move it right now.

WAIKIKI

I had to work (again) so Jen came into town to mess around some before we headed out to a nice dinner with David that evening. She had gone surfing a couple of times and had fun, so she went back to hone her skill. Of course, there was drama.

I wish I could have seen it, but I was busy being responsible. But it basically broke down to this: surfers were out to get her.

EVERYONE who lives here knows that Waikiki is where all the tourists, who don't know any of the 'rules', go to surf. So I say, if you live here and surf there, don't come complaining to me about the 'newbies' because you are too lazy to drive 15 minutes to a different spot. Sadly, some times the old timers still take their frustrations out on the tourists, and just kind of mow them over.

In this case, literally.

I have no idea what it would look like, but I imagine something like this:

This guy ACTUALLY RAN OVER Jennifer! It was like Jennifer Surf Sandwich. He actually had to push his board off her, like she was a human sandbar or something. Really, experienced surfer dude?!

Luckily, she was not the worse for wear, and managed to look uber cute when we went out that evening.

Jen ended up treating us to Yardhouse, which I think is a chain they have in CA. It is awesome. I love that place. I had $22 macaroni and cheese, which might horrify some of you, but I'm kind of used to the prices by now. Jennifer loved it! I wish I could bring you some back girl! I think we all need to lobby for one to open in Dallas. Write your Senator. Or something.

Let the Disasters Begin

Jen started on her blog by calling this day A for Adventure, because she is too nice to use what fits better, which is S is for Suck.

In keeping with my OCD list, I had mapped out the island's weather in conjunction with the activities I had planned, bc it rains all the time here, somewhere on the island. So, on the day it wasn't supposed to rain in Kailua, I had scheduled our kayak day.

So, we get up early, pack up, get ready..... where are the car keys?

David, bless his heart (which now means I can say something mean), took BOTH sets of freaking keys to work.

But left the car.

Insanity. MY SCHEDULE! My precious schedule, it was RUINED. I tried not to be mad at him, but it was kind of hard and I ultimately failed. So I have some work to do in that department.

Back to the story, now we were at home with nothing to do, and in the middle of Nowhere, HI. Trying to salvage the situation, I decided there was a beach nearby that we could go to that was supposed to have great snorkeling. In truth, it did. At least that went right.

Our only hope was to hop a bus. However, I live in the middle of a giant, private resort so the nearest stop is kind of a hike. It was a little cloudy, but that happens all the time, it will just blow over.

Yeah, not so much.

About half way there the skies open and proceed to drench us. Sodden, we finally get to the highway, sludge through the brackish water in the side lane, and sprint across it to get to the bus stop and wait.

And wait.

It was right about then we realized that leaving the camera behind was a dreadful mistake, because this was so terrible it was funny. I can only imagine what those pictures would have looked like. You can't fake that kind of wretchedness.

Lame re-enactment

Finally it came and we hopped on. That 65 degree temp sure felt good on our wet clothes. A few miles later we hopped off again, and this time tried to cheat death as we made our way across the highway sans traffic lights. Of course, cue the movie-style drenching via passing car. Belach.

The beach! Not much to look at, but oh my. Look at those waves. Hmm.

It was kind of a struggle, but we got out there and saw some fun stuff. We were apparently safe from insanity in the water. I later realized this was just the kind of false sense of security that had the cosmos laughing.

The real snub came when we were trying to catch the bus back home. A bus comes every 30 minutes, and we were waiting under the sign.

Oh! Here is comes. We looked at the bus driver and he stared at me AS HE DROVE RIGHT ON BY. I was pretty mad.

But Jennifer was LIVID.

I have never seen her so mad. It rivals the time she got that empty Sprite bottle as a White Elephant gift. That was also awesome. We called The Bus and complained, but they seemed less than concerned over the issue.

So we caught the next one and made it home in one piece, more or less. By this time my sister is home, and she graciously let us borrow her car, so we could try to go have actual fun. So, we grabbed my board and headed off to White Plains nearby to surf. However, the board does not fit in the car so well, so we ended up driving like this:

Sadly, my board is a POS, and because it was so cheap, it is also kind of small and really hard to get up on. Jennifer was all about tackling the challenge though! I was way proud of her for going out after it. She would probably be a total surfer chick if she lived out here.

We Should Have Just Stayed Home Day

This day was the pinnacle of disaster for the whole trip. drama, people....drama.



So, the original plan was this - some fun snorkeling, followed by a hike out to the point to see seals and the sunset. Then Home.



Simple.



Supposedly.



Well, Court is tagging along on this day, because she is moving soon and wants to see the island one more time before she leaves. However, she has already packed up all her snorkeling gear, so she borrowed David's mask. His fins, however, weren't going to work, so she was going to go barefoot.

We are at this particular beach, because I know that somewhere beneath those waves is a turtle cleaning station, and that is awesome.

Now if I could just remember where it is……

So, we head into the waves. It is a bit of a swim out there, so we've got some time. Jen is doing fine, as always, because she used to swim all the time. Court is having a bit of trouble, since she has no fins. So, I'm staying with her, because I'm more worried about here. Jen can take care of herself, no problem.

However, about halfway out there I looked up to check on Jen, and what I saw was this:



No Jen.

Holy Crap, NO JEN.

WHERE IS JEN!?!?

My brain proceed to freak out, and completely sever all contact with its logical half. All kinds of issues were flooding in my brain - dragged out to sea, eaten by a shark, oh no, what were all our friends going to say, I killed of Jen on her vacation! Ack.

Naturally, it was a bit wavy, so I was having a really hard time seeing further than 5 feet. I'm not sure how long this period of terror lasted, but it certainly felt like forever. It was probably more like 10 minutes. But still.

At this point, Courtney is tired and might possibly drown. She spotted a yacht with a dingy anchored nearby, and started to swim towards it for a better vantage point. After a bit, I swim after her, because I can't see anything.

I'm almost there when all of a sudden, my face is on fire. Then my hand. What is going on!? I look down, and notice that my hand is covered in tiny blue spots. Hmm, that's not normal… so I reached over and pulled off this nasty jellyfish that is stinging the absolute crap out of me. Maybe I'm a pansy, but my face freaking hurt.

So, when I pull up to the yacht, I don't even recognize that is basically full of male underwear models as I rip my mask off, looking frenzied while I claw at my face, and shriek out, "Do you see her?!" to Court, who is inside the dingy and looking around. Those guys must have thought we were crazy. Well, me, anyways.

After some intent peering, we see someone we think might be her, and head back in. Thank you Jesus (literally) it is her. There is much relief. Jennifer, being an intelligent person, swam back to shore LIKE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO when we were separated. Court and I knew this, but tourists usually don't and since we hadn't had The Talk, I just assumed she didn't either. My logical brain half was probably shouting this at me - too bad I wasn't listening.

So the reunion. I was so relieved, I basically felt sick. There were tears, talking over one another, and a basic feeling of stupidity as I realized how dumb I was. And pain. Now that the adrenaline was dissipating, I was starting to realize that my face and hands were on fire. But basically, relief. Crisis over.

Or not.

Taking a few breaths to calm myself, I watch Court and Jen start to swim towards shore. I reach up to get my mask off my forehead, and…no mask.

NO FREAKING MASK.

NO BRAND-NEW, EXPENSIVE DIVING MASK.

David is gonna kill me.

So I raise the alarm. I have no way of looking myself, and I need one of their masks quick, before the current carries my mask (and myself) further away and in opposite directions. Imagine my extreme dismay when I realize they are still swimming to shore.

!@$$@^!@#%^.

Court wouldn't give up her mask until she made it to shore. Those 10 minutes I was freaking livid. So mad. To her credit, once Jen got the mask from Court, she was like a missile back to me. It was kind of astounding.

So we began the search, but it was too late. Finding it would be near impossible. I spent half my time desperately praying for the return of my mask. I spent the other half feeling like a materialistic idiot for praying about it. You know how it is. After like 20 minutes of my hope slowing dying a long, painful death, Jen and I called it off. Not wanting the day to be a complete train wreck, Jen asked if we could still try for the turtle cleaning station. That I still wasn't sure where it was. Oh please, let me find this.

Halfway out I see a spot of neon.

No.

It couldn’t be.

IT WAS

IT WAS MY MASK.

Really! Right there, perfectly framed in a blank patch of sand. I nearly blew out my lungs trying to get to it, but I was so excited I didn't care. I was about ready to sign up as a missionary at this point.

There was a minor celebration, and then we continued the search for the turtle station. Jen actually found it pretty quickly, thank goodness. It is fun to watch.

Basically, it is this giant boulder that turtles glide into, and get inundated by tiny cleaner wrasses, who swarm them. It's cool.

So, in the end, we emerged from the sea, triumphant. Sadly, we are now behind schedule, so lunch at the country club is out the window. We haul ass to the end of the isalnd to begin our hike out to the point.

It's a pretty plain trip out, some shoreline to see, etc.





Here we are on a sea arch:

Um, rock-scaling? I don't remember this. I think there used to be a board going actoss this chasm. I only hit my head once going over. It was going to be interesting doing in the dark.





The point!

There was a seal hanging out on the rocks.

The three of us at sunset - we made it!

Of course, now we had to hike back in the dark. Those rocks were an exersize in patience. The good news, by now my jellyfish stings were practically gone, and the swelling had gone down. The bad news was my feet had decided to take over in the pain department. I had blisters the size of my ears on my feet. It made the walk back a little slow, and I wasn't very talkative, so I was glad Court was there to keep Jen entertained.


Kayaking Day!

Today was an ambitous day - we were going to hike/waterfall jump and then kayak out to an offshore island.

So we went hiking first - it was pretty, and nice and uneventful. Although, there were a lot of stream crossings, so we had to be pretty careful going across. I think it might have stressed Jen out a bit, but she carried it well.

Don't drink the water



Jungle Swing

The trail


At the falls!



Preparing to Jump

Having survived the jungle, we decided to take on the sea. The plan was to paddle to an off-shore island.

Behold, our vessel:

I think this was a first for Jen, and although the kayak guy showed us how to paddle on the shore, it is a bit different in the kayak. Also, it becomes harder to expain when you can't look at each other. That, and I am apparently a terrible kayak instructor. So we were stuggling, a bit. Then Jen's contact fell out. Goodbye depth perception! Brother. Poor Jen. She made it through, though.
Getting the hang of it!



We finally made it to the island. Thank goodness, because it was a long paddle and my pitiful arm muscles were about to cede the union.

Becuase it's on The List, I made Jen take the difficult hike around to the back of the island, because it is Beautiful, And All. Thanks for putting up with me girl. I mean well....

Then, all too soon, it was time to get back in the kayak and head back to shore before our rental ran out. Suck it up, arms!




Ha! Victory over kayak.

Ugh, you know what I need?



That's right. Shakeritas. Freaking Awesome. At least it was open this time. After that we went home and passed out from exhaustion.

Last Day

This is the only picture we managed on the last day. Jennifer and I were beat from kayaking, and all we wanted was to do was lay on the beach and not move for some time. However, the fates (ahem - Courtney - cough cough) were against us. We did manage for a little while, and even got some snorkeling in - which was perfect timing for the last disaster, when Jen's camera suddenly broke. Sigh. Of course.

So, we ended up staying later than planned, and in an attempt to save some time by skipping the long line at Matsumotos, we tried the nearby Aoki's instead. Bad decision! It was way inferior to Matsumotos. We have learned our lesson.


Thus ended Jennifer's 'vacation'. She probably had to go home and take a vacation from her vacation! I was sad to se her go, but I think I managed not to cry on her when she left. Thanks so much for visitng - it meant the world to me. And I did have the best time with you, even though not everything went to plan. I hope you had some fun too.

Can't wait to see you back in Dallas! At least there is no water there for me to drown/lose you in.

Dallas Cometh

JENNIFER LEWIS!!

As you can see, I had a visitor. Even though I am just now writing about it, 3 months later, (yikes) I am still kind of excited.

This kicked off the month of Good Dallas Friends Coming to Visit. Yay.

Jen came at the beginning of August after she finished her bar exam for a much-needed rest. Even better, she was able to stay for 2 whole weeks! It was great. If you would like to about her trip in her own words, the Hawaii Saga starts here.

Hers is actually in chronological order. I forgot what we did when, and now I am too lazy to re-upload in the right order, because that takes FOREVER. It will eventually drive me crazy, and I will probably go rearrange it later, but right now.....meh.

Anyway -

What do you think we did on her first day here!?

That's right - the beach! Hello, Mr. Sun. I think this might be the only day I was included in that didn't have some sort of disaster involved. Just wait.

We just went to the beach by our house - here it is. Secluded and quiet - Jen just needed some detox time.


Well, I couldn't take off 2 weeks of work, so the first week Jennifer was off to explore on her own. Luckily, she had a friend who was going to come out and be with her during that time. Sadly, there were airplane issues, so she was late coming out. Not wanting Jen to be alone, I put her in my sister's entertaining hands. Where I assumed she would be safe. Right.

So what do they do!? For the three people out there who actually read my travel blog, they took her on that hike I said only insane people do! That illegal hike. Yeah. That one.

It is a hike with just under 4,000 stairs to climb that go straight up the spine of the mountain. Here are some pictures - it looked awesome. I'm so glad she had a chance to do this - she's probably one of the VERY few tourists who have ever completed it.

I mean come on - you're hiking into the clouds! And you started from the ground - I'll be a home on the couch.

Ok, remember how I said 'illegal'? Please note the fence below.

That's right - Jen has only been here 2 days and we are already having her break the law.

They headed out to the hike around 5 am to get on the trail before the security guard showed up, because once you're on it, what are they gonna do? Make you come down? So they were super-sneaky, and under the cover of darkness, began their ascent. They had a great time - the views looked amazing, and the weather was being agreeable.

Coming down was much better, I imagine, than going up, but now they were going to have to deal with the security guard, who had been watching them make their way down for the last hour. Usually, this is not a big deal. They kind of look the other way, and tell you not to do it again. Of course, that is not how it went this time.

Jen got to experience first hand the racism against us whiteys! After letting a local couple (who were ahead of them) go no problem, he stopped the haoles and threw a fit. Sadly, too much time has passed, so I am forgetting big chunks of the story. I only remember the funny parts.

Basically, somehow Courtney, Paul, and Jennifer ended up escaping the guard and sneaking through ditches and canals, through mosquitoes, mud, and tall brush trying to make their way back to the car and avoid the guard, who had called the police and was now searching for them on his motorcycle. True, Paul himself was a cop, so nothing really would have happened, but still. They finally made it back to the car, and after a short chase, made a getaway. As I was hearing this story, looking at their poor, mosquito-bite covered bodies, I kind of couldn't help but laugh and be horrified at the same time as I imagine my poor friend reduced to sneaking away from the cops on her vacation. Also, what all our mutual friends would say when they found out I landed Jen in jail. Relaxed yet?!

After that, her friend showed up, and they did islandy things, like:

Polynesian Cultural Center

Surfing on Waikiki

Going to Pearl Harbor, getting lost in the jungle, etc.

Then I was off work and it was North Shore day! Oh dear, I was around, so things were about to go downhill.

I love the North Shore - it just feels so different to me than the metropolitan areas. More like Hawaii should be.

Of course, there was the obligatory stop at the pineapple plantation on the way there.

I love these trees - they are, amazingly, called Rainbow Trees. Pretty.

Pink Pineapples?!



Yay North Shore!

And then.... disaster:

Um, WHERE IS THE LOST SET!?!?

I had been here several times, and Jen was so excited to see it, but no. Thwarted! The whole set had mysteriously vanished. The beach camp, the unfinished church - everything was gone. It was crushing, crushing I tell you. The highlight of the day was MIA. Also, what is going on with that show that they no longer need a beach camp!?

Sad, but scrambling to find a secondary prize for Jen to see, we started walking the long beach, looking for turtles. There are always tons of turtles sunning on the beach.

BUT NO. Here, they are, taunting us, underwater:

Those really dark, boulder-looking things are the turtles. Jen tried to be excited, probably for my benefit, bc I was feeling pretty bad at this point. Those dumb things never did come to shore, and we waited there forever.

So we headed off to something I was sure to please - snocones! Or as they call it here, Shave Ice. Never Shaved Ice. I am perplexed as to why this is. The first time I saw it, I laughed at the store's obvious grammatical error. But as time went by, I realized that is how EVERYBODY here says it. What is going on with these people!? But I digress.

Anyway, sugar cures all ills, and these snocones are especially grinds. (Hawaiian for 'really good'). Yum. We love us some Matsumotos.

Undaunted, we decided it was time to actually get into the water. So we headed over for some snorkeling up at Shark's Cove. It was fun, although by the time I got out of the water, I was freezing. Here, fishy fishy!

It was getting towards evening, so Jen and I went to Sunset Beach to hang out for a while and wait for the spectacular sunset that the beach was named after. Of course, what we got was this:

Sunset? More like Crapset. It was terrible.

On the upside, there was a seal beached right nearby! Which was awesome, because that is kind of rare. I say the cosmos were throwing me a bone after the day we just had.

Lump 'O Seal

After this we just went home and called it a night. The Olympics were on, after all!

Sunday

Ah Dunes. Today was the day I tried to drown Jennifer!

So, I become this weird obsessive-compulsive person when people come out to visit, and I make these insane schedules to try to squeeze everything I think they should do in. Of course, boogie-boarding is one of those things on the Must Experience checklist. So Jen was boogie boarding whether she wanted to or not. All my friends are too nice, so I am never sure if I am unknowingly forcing them into something. So I say 'we don't have to' which just reinforces their trying to be nice personality, which bolsters my insecurities, and altogether it is just a vicious circle.

Which is how we ended up here.

You really can't tell, but the waves are HUGE. We usually go out in 2 ft waves or so - by comparison, the Texas Coast is almost always at 0. Not today; today they were 5 - 7 feet. When you are out there in it, it is freaking big. There were surfers out there with us! At least no one got decapitated, which was a very real possibility.

It was a lot of fun, but the waves were not merciful. If you didn't know how to stand or hold your board, they were going to drag you out to sea. Jennifer did a pretty good job surviving, and I hope she had a little fun. Eventually we ditched the board and just did body surfing, which feels either like you're a human water missile, or like you're in a washing machine. It's exhilarating.

David was with us this day, and I was really looking forward to hitting up Pinky's, which is a local place with great specials. After a long day of boarding, it is delicious.

So imagine my dismay (and not so much surprise) when we go to Pinky's and it was closed! I mean, come on! Bah.

I hate to admit this, but we ended up eating at Costco! Costco! We were more starving than anything, but looking back I can't believe we took someone to eat Costco pizza on vacation. Lame. Good thing Jen is the best sport ever!

At some point, David and I got the crazy idea that it would be a good idea to go night snorkeling with Jen. 'What a fun and unique experience!' we thought. Just put some flashlights in ziplock bags and we're set! The coves next to our house would be perfect, since they are so protected.

Yeah.

Turns out, being in the water at night is freaky.

The coves actually close at sundown, so we went all 007 sneaking into the water. I know I, personally, felt this way as I slipped into my wetsuit under the cover of darkness. No one else had one, so they were probably too focused on feeling cold to reciprocate my thougts on the situation.

So we got in an bumbled around for a while. One of the flashlights wasn't working so well (of course it was Jen's) so she and I teamed up to look around. It's all kind of fuzzy now, but I remember screaming a lot.

Ok, so not so 007.

Still, it was freaky. The ocean's disfigured creatures come out at night, and it's always a suprise, cuz you don't realize they are there until they are all up in your face. So, there was much squealing. Jen eventually had enough, and got out of the water. I went back out to get David, but I could NOT find him to save my life. What the heck!? I was getting mildly panicked, and then a GIANT EEL swam right underneath me, and screw David, I was out of there.

Which worked out well, because it turned out David was already on shore. It was a very unique, albeit mildly stressful, experience. We don't really have any pictures from the excursion, mainly because they would look something like this:

Outside of this activity, once Jen came to visit, I realized that I had no idea what to do with guests once the outdoors get too dark to play in. I spent a lot of time trying to come up with ideas, and thinking to myself, "What do I normally DO at night!?" Thank goodness the Olympics were there to save me. We spent a lot of time watching Michael Phelps destroy everyone.

More to come - the real ridiculousness didn't kick in until the last few days.......