Halloween 2011

This year, we're doing Halloween right

A carload of pumpkins is always a good start.

David and I actually spent a lovely lunch break in the fall air roaming around, picking out pumpkins. Well, David roamed.  I neurotically darted btwn the different piles of pumpkins, trying to ascertain which ones were The Best.  Apparently, I have issues.

We had our community group over for a carving extravaganza.  Mainly, I used it as an excuse to buy the large box of those Friday's potato skins and not feel guilty. Mmmm

The crew

Jon, carve master

Katie's first pumpkin carving! What?!

Jon #2 - the craftsman

Jon actually required GRAPH PAPER to figure out his design. Seriously. I was very interested to see what was going to happen here.

Sexy pumpkin carving

This is what happens when I ask David to pose

Still at work

 

Jon #1 did two pumpkins

The Reveal!

Mine - I couldn't top the greatness of last year's pumpkin

Jon #2 - graph paper pumpkin

Jon #1's #1

Katie's

Jon #1's #2 - my favorite

The group

I totally made everyone pose

A few weeks after that - we went to a GREAT Halloween party, which produced this little marvel: The Hillbilly Pirate Cake.

Seriously.

I owed him for being awesome, and pompously told him to pick any theme and I would make him a cake. In the future, I will be more careful when I say things like this.


The cake with the Hillbilly Pirate captain himself.


Another thing I LOVED about his party, was that it was My Kind of People, meaning the nerd percentage was pretty high.  This meant that 5 whole people actually knew who I was! I was so excited, especially after toiling with my mom (read: she did it all herself after the first night) to make the perfect jacket from the series.

Do you know who I am? Are you super cool?

Shazam! Nailed it!

I am Kaylie from Firefly/Serenity. Love that series! If you are even slightly nerdy, you need to go watch it immediately.

Shame on you, Matt and Kelly, for not having seen it.  You lost some serious cred.

OF COURSE I made David dress up to match.

Kaylie's match in the series is Simon, who is a doctor.  It was hysterical, becuase away from me, David looks like That Guy Who Didn't Have A Costume.  David actually described himself as 'Douchebag Doctor'.

So, throughout the evening, I would point out David, describe who I had made him dress up as, and got lots of, "Ohh!!" from people, who originally probably thought he really was dressed up as a jerky doctor. It was humorous, and led me to promise that he could have a costume that could stand on its own next year.

It was a good party. So good, even David stayed up til around 3 in the morning. There may or may not have been some attempts by yours truly to play Rock Band for the first time in the wee hours of morning.

The results of this were apparently so entertaining that David, the next day, expressed some desire to buy the game just to watch me try to play it.

I blame whatever that smoking green stuff was that Kelly made me drink. :)


A few days later, actual Halloween occured, and Mom came over to help me hand out candy to the kiddies.

The house:

Entry

Scary ghost!

Spooky Walkway

Front Door

BOO!

More Door Action

Made Koa a costume while waiting on Trick or Treators. He actually wore this for hours without complaint.

Mom with her doggie helpers.  Koa was so great - whenever the doorbell rang, he would wander over to the front door and stand there and let kids pet him like it was no big deal.

The only issue was his eyeholes kept slipping - I definitely heard the 'thump' of him running into a wall a couple of times.

I never noticed how very furry this bat is.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

My Brain is Trying to Kill Me

Sometimes when I'm doing something mundane, like washing my hair, I kind of zone out for a while, and when I come to I realize I'm in the middle of a conversation with myself in my head. Does this happen to anyone else, or do I need to start looking into serious pharmaceuticals?!

This also happens to me a lot at red lights. Except usually, at those, my mind delights in dredging up mortifying moments from my past and replaying them for my horrified entertainment. Like the time, newly married and still very shy, I went to get the mail and came back into the apt, only to see that David had redecorated the entryway in my absence (and it was ugly).  I don't remember the exact words that I started yelling, but it was probably unpleasant with a side note of profanity.  At this, 3 extremely good-looking guys (of course they were good-looking) walked out of the bedrooms to stare at me. I HAD WALKED INTO THE WRONG APT AND STARTED CURSING AT ITS OCCUPANTS.  I probably made some noise not unlike 'glark' and backed my profanic butt out of there as quickly as possible.

And for the next two years, proceeded to take extremely ridiculous measures to make sure I never ran into them again.

Another favorite is the time I met David's borderline-genius father for the first time. "Remember how you slammed your head, unintentionally, into not one, but three different objects in the room?!" my brain screams. " Ha ha! You cretin!"


My life is pretty blessed right now - I have a great husband, enjoy my job, we have our health, and we're slowly turning our house into our home.

So it's going to be a real shocker to everyone one day when this happens to me at a red light and I lose the will to live and roll into the intersection.

For Rent: One Bedroom Birdhouse

August 2011

I love my local library. There is just so much information waiting to be taken home and loved, much like a puppy at the pet store just without all the bodily function surprises.

So! On such a trip while looking for info on gardening and patios, we ended up taking home a few books on building your own birdhouse. One was pretty straightforward, but the other was like Home For the Distinguishing Fowl. Some of them looked nicer than my house.

After an evening with David of planning ornate birdhouses, I did some actual research (I am finally learning - do all the research FIRST) and found out that hey, birds hate that. Here's the condensed skinny on getting a bird to actually live in something you make:

''Make it rough and look like a natural dwelling because bright colors aren't so good at hiding from predators that want to eat their babies, and birds won't live in it which kind of defeats the point''

So, sadness. We decided to dial down the birdy McMansion and make a birdy McHomeless shelter instead.

There is probably some lesson on humility and our materialistic society in here somewhere, but I am too busy picking out fabric for some new drapes to find it.

Step One:

Planning. Like, perhaps you should get the plans before you buy the wood, so your wife doesn't get all naggy and inform you that your wood is incorrectly sized and inferior.

I have a triangle, and I'm not afraid to use it

Step 2:

Go back to Home We Own Your Soul Depot for more wood

Step 3:

Cut things. Preferably not your own limbs.

Ba-zam! Conquering Fears, caught on film.

Step 4:

Put the pieces together to make sure they all fit

It looks like we tore up some floorboards to make this thing

Step 5:

Come up with Ghettofied Version, since the original plans are not working out because someone bought lumber that was too thick. Ahem.

Showing off the drainage holes and vents cut in the top side pieces

Step 6:

Re-cut select pieces

The one feature worthy of the McMansion house - David cut these ledges into the front of the board leading to the entrance to make it easier for the babies to crawl out on their own for the first time

Step 7:

Assemble. Buy a nail gun and just go crazy. That's what we did, anyway. And by we, I mean David because I am even more terrified of the nail gun than I am of the miter saw. Those things could misfire and shoot me in the eye, and then I would lurch blindly around the house, squeezing the trigger in agony AND THEN OH MY GOSH I SHOT MY DOG.

So.

I left it to David.

Gahh. The Internet has taught me to be frightened of many things

Step 7:

Get a bit of some kind for your drill that makes holes in wood and make an entrance in the door. Ours was 1 1/2 inches, which allow of many different types of birds. Be sure to check online or in a book to make sure what size your selected species of birds prefers.

In retrospect, the best place to do this was probably not the kitchen floor.
Sometimes we get excited and things have to happen IMMEDIATELY.
We have no time for this 'proper planning' drivel

Step 8:

Nail down anything that is loose. Or, if you are Lily, attempt to defend against the nail gun and compressor with vicious barking and physical attacks. I don't think she liked the noise. I was sure she was going to get herself a nail through the lip, or even worse, make David shoot himself in the leg/arm.

This was my job - making sure Lily did not become an accessory on the birdhouse

Step 9:

Be proud of self and show off to everyone.

TA -DA!

David removing the pins on the side that hold the door in place so he can show off the inside

Hi little birdy ladder!

Completed. The entrance is made double-thick as a deterrent to possible predators. I guess they see the deep hole and give up? Dunno, but any chance that I don't have to come out one day and see little dead baby birdies I will take.