My Brain is Trying to Kill Me

Sometimes when I'm doing something mundane, like washing my hair, I kind of zone out for a while, and when I come to I realize I'm in the middle of a conversation with myself in my head. Does this happen to anyone else, or do I need to start looking into serious pharmaceuticals?!

This also happens to me a lot at red lights. Except usually, at those, my mind delights in dredging up mortifying moments from my past and replaying them for my horrified entertainment. Like the time, newly married and still very shy, I went to get the mail and came back into the apt, only to see that David had redecorated the entryway in my absence (and it was ugly).  I don't remember the exact words that I started yelling, but it was probably unpleasant with a side note of profanity.  At this, 3 extremely good-looking guys (of course they were good-looking) walked out of the bedrooms to stare at me. I HAD WALKED INTO THE WRONG APT AND STARTED CURSING AT ITS OCCUPANTS.  I probably made some noise not unlike 'glark' and backed my profanic butt out of there as quickly as possible.

And for the next two years, proceeded to take extremely ridiculous measures to make sure I never ran into them again.

Another favorite is the time I met David's borderline-genius father for the first time. "Remember how you slammed your head, unintentionally, into not one, but three different objects in the room?!" my brain screams. " Ha ha! You cretin!"


My life is pretty blessed right now - I have a great husband, enjoy my job, we have our health, and we're slowly turning our house into our home.

So it's going to be a real shocker to everyone one day when this happens to me at a red light and I lose the will to live and roll into the intersection.