My Genes Scare Me

June 2011 -

Doesn't she look happy? I mean, who wouldn't, after shooting themselves in the leg?


Yes, this happened. My mom is special. How did this happen, you might ask? If you know my mom, you are probably nodding your head and thinking, 'I would not be surprised if this involved costumes, and/or alcohol.'

Actually, it involved neither. The short story is that my grandfather is getting older, and it became a hazard to leave his multitude of guns in his possession. So, it was decided that they should be given to my mom for safe-keeping.

Bwaha-ha ha ha!

Ah, hindsight. So anyway, this happened:

Mom did not bother to inform me of the fact she had SHOT HERSELF IN THE LEG until 24 hours after it actually happened. I tell you, it is hard to think of what to say first when your mom calls and tells you she had shot herself in the leg a few days ago. In the end, I went with, "WHAT!?"

Apparently, among the guns was a very nice revolver? maybe a pistol? that was older with some lovely scroll work and my mom decided to play cowboy with it in her living room.

Seriously.

Later, after several days and a phone call from my mildly hysterical sister, David and I were sitting with mom in the ER, where she had promptly made friends with every single person she met. Looking at the wound, I starting thinking about all the worry that could have been set aside with a simple picture sent from her cell phone. I have GOT to teach mom how to do that.

Back to the point, we were sitting there, soaking in the apparent healing rays being emitted from the paper covering the patient chair, because otherwise I can't figure out why they made my mom sit there, doing nothing, for upwards of 6 hours. So we are sitting there, passing time, when I start mulling over my limited knowledge of gun safety, which resulted in this conversation:

Me: "Mom, didn't the gun have a safety? Wouldn't you have to cock it for it to fire?"

Mom: "It did - I had cocked the gun."

Me: "??"

Mom: "I did it because that's what a cowboy would do."

Me: "........"

Mom was very proud of this - I might frame this for her birthday

And this woman has a concealed handgun license. I hope David still wants to procreate with me after this.