Lung Evacuation

This is my bedside table at the moment - a testament to my feeling like crap.

I have been sick for almost 2 weeks, and I swear, once this thing is over I am going to have abs of steel. Hiding under a layer of fat, sure, but they'll still be there. Maybe more like Stealth Abs than Steel Abs.

I have never coughed so much in my life. The pressure of constant coughing makes it feel like my brain is oozing out my ears, or attempting to, anyway. I am a veritable walking medicine cabinet. Furthermore, it has been a while since either of us has been sick, so I got to be the one to find the expired medicine by trail and error. I sprayed some Cepecol in my throat, and gagged on the distinctly expired taste of gasoline. I'm pretty sure that wasn't their original idea of cherry.

(Speaking of, David and I have a debate going over the use of throat-numbing spray. It CLEARLY states 'spray on back of throat' on the bottle, but when I did (with the non-nasty spray) I started choking and gagging, with tears running down my face, which is how your body is built to respond when something starts attacking your throat. Of course, David thought this was hysterical, and that I was retarded. He says that you are supposed to spray it on your tongue and swallow it. What? Then all you have is a numb tongue. I don't get it. How do you do it? Which way is right? Actually, it won't matter what you say, because if you all agree with him I'm just not going to tell him).

Anyway, so I feel crappy. Most of you won't remember, but I did a large cake for a client last week, which was probably 1 day before I got this Mutant Death Cough. Luckily, one of the people at the party works at my office, and I have been sneaking around, checking on him. He seems healthy. I was pretty worried for a while.

David has been working his booty off for the last week, not getting home until after midnight, usually. I really want him to get some sleep, so a few nights ago when I woke up the neighbors coughing, I thought I'd slip out to the guest bed so he could sleep in peace. I think I made it alone for about 30 minutes, after which David showed up cuz he was lonely, and climbed into the smaller bed. Naturally, Lily wanted to be with us, and this room didn't have a bed for her, so she wanted on our bed, and I just wanted us all to sleep. Cold dog nose in your face will wake you up pretty quick. So, I ended up in this extremely funky, contorted position so we were all on the bed, and David wouldn't realize Lily was there and kick her off. Laying there, trying not to wheeze I realized that this was not going to be the best night of sleep.

This weekend I will probably lay around doing nothing, being pitiful, and hacking like a 65 year old chain smoker. Dead Sexy.